Yesterday was Teacher Appreciation day at school. This means that some Moms make an amazing gourmet lunch for the Teachers to sit down and enjoy, leisurely, at a table with a flower centerpiece. Other Moms (like me) volunteer to cover their classrooms so that the kids will all be supervised during lunch and recess.
There were 5 Moms that were there to help. It was calamity followed by shocking dishevelment. I looked at my watch and I was a mere 45 minutes into taking care of one kindergarten class, and I was counting down the minutes and trying to avoid disaster at all cost.
Let me set the scene: (amonst your standard recess chaos).
There is one kid asking for me to help him find a Bumblebee so that he can make bug soup.
There are tricycles cirlcling so fast I'm wondering how no one gets run over.
Mom #1 is explaining how she's now 4 months pregnant AND, she was on the pill!
I have to stop a little girl from hoisting the boy searching for Bumblebees over the fence.
Mom #2 announced that she has a flat tire on her car, and that she's just going to go change it. (Bonus points for attempting to change it yourself, sister.) It turns out that she didn't have the tire iron in her car, so AAA had to be called.
Bee boy finds me again pleading for me to help him find the bugs and bees that he needs to make his soup. He confides in me that the soup is only for the bad kids, and that we really NEED it!
Mom #3 amazes the rest of us by wrestling a Nintendo DS from the grip of a group of boys and actually gets them to run around and PLAY! She's a college professor, and insists that she does this all of the time in her classes. Her experience pays off.
Varoius melt-downs and he said/she saids errupt and die down like a volcano spewing hot lava.
Mom #4, the sporty one, decides to have all of the kids form a chain behind her and go down the slide all together. Her face was ghostly white when she stood after her 4ft. slide. Apparently, she had split her pants from the waistband down the the back of her knee. I kid you not. Whatever inspired her to wear a fleece sweatshirt on an 80 degree day, I will never know. She quickly (and I mean like lightning) tied that fleece around her waist and all evidence was covered, as it were.
I quickly realized that I am Mom #5. I walked as if I was walking on egg shells for the next 20 minutes. Waiting gingerly and making no sudden moves until the teachers returned to save us all.
I am happy to report that I emerged unscathed. And, I'm advocating a raise for the teachers who do this everyday.